A Family's Tragedy Reignites a National Conversation on Mental Health and Addiction
The devastating murders of filmmaker Rob Reiner and his wife, Michele, allegedly at the hands of their son, have thrust the painful realities of mental illness and addiction back into the spotlight. This heartbreaking incident echoes the experience of Virginia State Senator Creigh Deeds, whose own family faced a similar tragedy when his 24-year-old son, Gus, struggling with bipolar disorder, attacked him before taking his own life. In a candid conversation with William Brangham, Senator Deeds sheds light on the profound challenges families face when navigating the complex world of mental health care.
But here's where it gets controversial... While mental illness and addiction are often intertwined, the stigma surrounding these issues persists, leaving families feeling isolated and ashamed. And this is the part most people miss... The legal and systemic barriers that prevent parents from accessing care for their adult children, even in the face of obvious crisis, remain a contentious and largely unresolved issue.
William Brangham: Senator, thank you for joining us to discuss this incredibly difficult topic. Let’s start with your initial reaction to the Reiner family’s tragedy.
Creigh Deeds: It’s nothing but heartbreak—heartbreak for the loss of these beautiful lives and heartbreak that they couldn’t secure the help their son so desperately needed. Mental health is still so widely misunderstood, and the stigma surrounding it has built walls that prevent people from seeking help. It’s a struggle I know all too well, especially when trying to care for an adult child. Just because they turn 18 doesn’t mean they’re no longer your child, but the system often treats them as if they are, making it incredibly difficult to access services.
A Bold Question: Should Parents Have More Legal Authority Over Adult Children in Mental Health Crises?
William Brangham: You’ve touched on a critical issue—the legal autonomy of adults, even those in crisis. Can you elaborate on the challenges you faced in getting care for Gus?
Creigh Deeds: Absolutely. One of the biggest hurdles is that many individuals don’t recognize they’re ill or refuse to accept it. As a parent, you’re left with limited options: trying to convince them to seek treatment voluntarily, which is often impossible, or navigating the legal system to gain authority to make decisions for them. It’s a labyrinth of difficulties, and in Gus’s case, he was so ill and delusional that he wouldn’t accept care, no matter how hard we tried. It’s a situation that’s both heartbreaking and infuriating.
William Brangham: After your family’s tragedy, you were part of a commission in Virginia to address gaps in mental health care. A decade later, what progress have we made?
Creigh Deeds: We’ve made strides, but the truth is, we neglected this issue for so long that there’s still so much work to do. In Virginia, we’ve added hundreds of millions of dollars to our public mental health system and expanded mandated services from two to nine. We’re focusing on crisis prevention, but we’re far from where we need to be. The Virginia Behavioral Health Commission, born out of that effort, continues to research and implement solutions, but it’s a slow and ongoing process.
A Controversial Interpretation: Are We Prioritizing Physical Health Over Mental Health?
William Brangham: The Reiner family was very public about their struggles, even making a film about Nick’s experiences. Yet, many families feel stigmatized and reluctant to speak openly. How pervasive is this stigma today?
Creigh Deeds: It’s still a massive issue. Tragedies happen every day, but most don’t make the headlines. We need empathy and kindness, but historically, we’ve stigmatized mental health, making people feel ashamed or embarrassed to seek help. We’re slowly breaking down those walls—for example, in Virginia, we’ve incorporated mental health awareness into the public school curriculum for eighth and ninth graders. But the problem persists. Mental health care is health care, yet we don’t treat it that way. We fundraise for physical illnesses but use derogatory terms like “crazy” when discussing mental health. It starts with how we talk about it—we need to normalize seeking help and ensure people can access the care they need in their communities.
Thought-Provoking Question: How Can We Balance Individual Autonomy with the Need for Intervention in Mental Health Crises?
William Brangham: Senator Deeds, thank you for sharing your insights and for your tireless work on this critical issue.
Creigh Deeds: Thank you. It’s a conversation we all need to keep having.
